1. You have not gained any weight, you look great.
2. I will never lie to you.
3. I will never hurt you.
4. Nothing is wrong. I am OK.
5. I am not ready for a boyfriend right now.
6. I never knew you called.
7. Size don’t matter, it’s how you use it.
8. I don’t think about other men.
9. I don’t give heads.
10. He’s just a friend.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
21 Most Embarrassing Names in English
Barb Dwyer
Pearl Button
Hazel Nutt
Ray Gun
Helen Back
Stan Still
Jo King
Lee King
Terry Bull
Mary Christmas
Max Power
Paige Turner
Sonny Day
Tim Burr
Teresa Green
Will Power
Anna Sasin
Chris Cross
Doug Hole
Justin Case
Barry Cade
Pearl Button
Hazel Nutt
Ray Gun
Helen Back
Stan Still
Jo King
Lee King
Terry Bull
Mary Christmas
Max Power
Paige Turner
Sonny Day
Tim Burr
Teresa Green
Will Power
Anna Sasin
Chris Cross
Doug Hole
Justin Case
Barry Cade
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Every school year has these people in it!
Clowns
People who gossip all the time
The back of the class crew
People who are forever copying answers off their friends
'Special' people
Backstabbers
Hyperactive people
Vain people
People who are always in fights
The white guy who thinks he's black
The one guy all the girls fancy
Asian People
The guy everyone suspects to be gay
Nerd who thinks he's popular
The gut everyone hates
People who just sit all day and draw
The sporty crew
Rumour spreaders
The ugly girl who thinks she's hot
The hot girl who thinks she's ugly
Emos
Chavs
Teachers' pets
Lonely kid at lunch
Pervert
Stoners
The foreign person who always walks around on their own
The strong guy crew
Tangoed girls
The in love couple
Bullies
Musicians
Incredible singers
People who bunk class
The one guy who is further through puberty than your dad
The nerds crew
Really small person with really big best friend
The fat girl who thinks she's thin
The thin girl who thinks she's fat
Sluts
People who gossip all the time
The back of the class crew
People who are forever copying answers off their friends
'Special' people
Backstabbers
Hyperactive people
Vain people
People who are always in fights
The white guy who thinks he's black
The one guy all the girls fancy
Asian People
The guy everyone suspects to be gay
Nerd who thinks he's popular
The gut everyone hates
People who just sit all day and draw
The sporty crew
Rumour spreaders
The ugly girl who thinks she's hot
The hot girl who thinks she's ugly
Emos
Chavs
Teachers' pets
Lonely kid at lunch
Pervert
Stoners
The foreign person who always walks around on their own
The strong guy crew
Tangoed girls
The in love couple
Bullies
Musicians
Incredible singers
People who bunk class
The one guy who is further through puberty than your dad
The nerds crew
Really small person with really big best friend
The fat girl who thinks she's thin
The thin girl who thinks she's fat
Sluts
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
★ 10 dirtiest chat-up lines! ★
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
4. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
5. F**k me if I'm wrong, but is your name Nigel?
6. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
7. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
8. My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear! (I am.) It must be an hour fast.
9. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
10. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
101 Things To Do With Your Boyfriend / Girlfriend
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Take showers together.
3. Back rubs/massages.
4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark
or w/blacklight.
5. French Kiss.
6. Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
7. Whisper to each other.
8. Cook for each other
9. Skinny dip.
10. Make out in the rain.
11. Dress each other.
12. Undress each other.
13. Kiss every part of their body.
14. Hold hands.
15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each
other*not
sex)
16. One word*Foreplay
17. Sit and talk in just underwear.
18. Buy gifts for each other.
19. Roses.
20. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear
it
every time you*re together.
21. Wear his clothes.
22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the
stars.
23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make
great for sex (cuddling)
24. Kiss at every chance you get.
25. Don*t wear underwear and let them find out.
26. Kinky is bad*Blindfolds are good.
27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their
jawbone just below the ear,then whisper I love you.
28. Bubble baths.
29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
30. Make love.
31. Write poetry for each other.
32. Kiss/smell her hair.
33. Hugs are the universal medicine.
34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make
sure they know you mean it.
35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
36. Tell her that she*s the only girl you ever want.
Don*t lie.
37. Spend every second possible together.
38. Tell her that she doesn*t have to do anything she
doesn*t want to. And mean it.
39. Look into each other*s eyes.
40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes,
tell her you love her,and kiss her lightly.
41. Talk to each other using only body language and
your eyes.
42. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front
pockets.
44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren*t
looking.
45. Clothes are no fun.
46. Buy her a ring.
47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it
everyday.
48. Sing to each other.
49. Read to each other.
50. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
51. Take advantage of any time alone together.
52. Tell her about how you answered every question in
math with her name.
53. Draw. (If you can)
54. Let her sit on your lap.
55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or
on a mountain.
56. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and
fingers,and cheeks,and collarbones, and hands,and
ears.
57. Kiss her stomach.
58. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
59. Guys like half-shirts.
60. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two
deal.
61. Spaghetti* (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
62. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand
and then put it over your heart.
63. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you
aren*t close enough.
64. Dance together.
65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make
love.
66. I love the way a girl looks right after she*s
fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
67. Carry her to bed.
68. Waterbeds are fun.
69. You figure it out.
70. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so
that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
71. Break every one of your parent*s relationship
rules for them.
72. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go
out of your way to call and say I love you.
74. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you
were thinking about them.
75. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
76. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few
hours.
77. Ride home and call them.
78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
79. Somehow incorporate them into any kind of
religion or worship you have.
80. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (Brownie
Points)
81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not
necessarily sexual)
82. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be
sweet to them.
84. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie
points)
85. Go to church/pray/worship together.
86. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the
parts she liked.
87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear
night.
88. Learn from each other and don*t make the same
mistake twice.
89. Everyone deserves a second chance.
90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with
him/her.
91. Make sacrifices for each other.
92. Really love each other, or don*t stay together.
93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in
love, etc. and give it to them.
94. Let there never be a second during any given day
that you aren*t thinking about them, and make sure
they know it.
95. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
99. Sleep naked together.
100. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And
always remember to say, "Sweet dreams.
2. Take showers together.
3. Back rubs/massages.
4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark
or w/blacklight.
5. French Kiss.
6. Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
7. Whisper to each other.
8. Cook for each other
9. Skinny dip.
10. Make out in the rain.
11. Dress each other.
12. Undress each other.
13. Kiss every part of their body.
14. Hold hands.
15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each
other*not
sex)
16. One word*Foreplay
17. Sit and talk in just underwear.
18. Buy gifts for each other.
19. Roses.
20. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear
it
every time you*re together.
21. Wear his clothes.
22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the
stars.
23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make
great for sex (cuddling)
24. Kiss at every chance you get.
25. Don*t wear underwear and let them find out.
26. Kinky is bad*Blindfolds are good.
27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their
jawbone just below the ear,then whisper I love you.
28. Bubble baths.
29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
30. Make love.
31. Write poetry for each other.
32. Kiss/smell her hair.
33. Hugs are the universal medicine.
34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make
sure they know you mean it.
35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
36. Tell her that she*s the only girl you ever want.
Don*t lie.
37. Spend every second possible together.
38. Tell her that she doesn*t have to do anything she
doesn*t want to. And mean it.
39. Look into each other*s eyes.
40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes,
tell her you love her,and kiss her lightly.
41. Talk to each other using only body language and
your eyes.
42. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front
pockets.
44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren*t
looking.
45. Clothes are no fun.
46. Buy her a ring.
47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it
everyday.
48. Sing to each other.
49. Read to each other.
50. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
51. Take advantage of any time alone together.
52. Tell her about how you answered every question in
math with her name.
53. Draw. (If you can)
54. Let her sit on your lap.
55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or
on a mountain.
56. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and
fingers,and cheeks,and collarbones, and hands,and
ears.
57. Kiss her stomach.
58. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
59. Guys like half-shirts.
60. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two
deal.
61. Spaghetti* (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
62. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand
and then put it over your heart.
63. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you
aren*t close enough.
64. Dance together.
65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make
love.
66. I love the way a girl looks right after she*s
fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
67. Carry her to bed.
68. Waterbeds are fun.
69. You figure it out.
70. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so
that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
71. Break every one of your parent*s relationship
rules for them.
72. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go
out of your way to call and say I love you.
74. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you
were thinking about them.
75. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
76. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few
hours.
77. Ride home and call them.
78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
79. Somehow incorporate them into any kind of
religion or worship you have.
80. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (Brownie
Points)
81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not
necessarily sexual)
82. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be
sweet to them.
84. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie
points)
85. Go to church/pray/worship together.
86. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the
parts she liked.
87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear
night.
88. Learn from each other and don*t make the same
mistake twice.
89. Everyone deserves a second chance.
90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with
him/her.
91. Make sacrifices for each other.
92. Really love each other, or don*t stay together.
93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in
love, etc. and give it to them.
94. Let there never be a second during any given day
that you aren*t thinking about them, and make sure
they know it.
95. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
99. Sleep naked together.
100. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And
always remember to say, "Sweet dreams.
Monday, May 3, 2010
10 Things Not To Say To A Father When Picking Up His Daughter For A Date
10. "Now.. show me how you used to spank her."
9. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"
8. "I just got my license today."
7. "Five bucks says she's a D-cup."
6. "You taught her to swallow, didn't you?"
5. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?"
4. "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'"
3. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature."
2. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."
1. "I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!"
9. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"
8. "I just got my license today."
7. "Five bucks says she's a D-cup."
6. "You taught her to swallow, didn't you?"
5. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?"
4. "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'"
3. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature."
2. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."
1. "I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!"
10 Things Adults do Not Tell Their Kids! (18+ only)
1. It's not actually the birds and the bees that got you here, its that we had sex.. look it up if you don't know what it is!
2. You don't actually need good grades in middle school.. its only high school that matters. You don't have to try so hard.
3. No I do not have a sex toy under my bed.
4. I really think your friend is hot.. I would nail her!
5. I fear that my job as a Catholic camp counselor will interfere to much with my sex life, drug dealings, and bad habits.
6. Yeah believe it or not I would smack you right now if I wouldn't go to jail.
7. You are a homosexual!! Fuck, I wish you weren't my kid!!!
8. My husband thought I was asleep and I could hear him having sex with my best friend, it was soo hot!
9. Yeah those are my condoms.. how do you think they got there!?!?
10. All those nights where it took over 2 hours for a "dinner" out with mom... We actually rented a hotel room and got it on.
2. You don't actually need good grades in middle school.. its only high school that matters. You don't have to try so hard.
3. No I do not have a sex toy under my bed.
4. I really think your friend is hot.. I would nail her!
5. I fear that my job as a Catholic camp counselor will interfere to much with my sex life, drug dealings, and bad habits.
6. Yeah believe it or not I would smack you right now if I wouldn't go to jail.
7. You are a homosexual!! Fuck, I wish you weren't my kid!!!
8. My husband thought I was asleep and I could hear him having sex with my best friend, it was soo hot!
9. Yeah those are my condoms.. how do you think they got there!?!?
10. All those nights where it took over 2 hours for a "dinner" out with mom... We actually rented a hotel room and got it on.
Can You Answer These Riddles (95% of people will say "oh yeaaaaaah")
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. ????
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. ????
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. ????
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. ????
10 Things You Didn't Know About Weed
2. Marijuana is known for its mellowing effect, but it has fueled many warriors in history. The word “assassin” is believed to come from the hashish taken a millennium ago by Arab killers (called “hashshashin” or “hashish eaters”), though some historians doubt they were under the influence while on their missions.
3. Louisa May Alcott, author of “Little Women,” wrote a short story called “Perilous Play” about marijuana. In it, a character declares, “If someone does not propose a new and interesting amusement, I shall die of ennui!” Another character produces a box of hashish-laced bonbons, and hedonism ensues.
4. Around 1900, the U.S. government briefly grew marijuana along a stretch of the Potomac River to study the plant’s medicinal value. Today, a more potent plant has risen on that site: the Pentagon.
5. A white Chicago jazz musician named Milton “Mezz” Mezzrow moved to Harlem in 1929, declared himself a “voluntary Negro,” and began selling marijuana. Known as “The Man Who Hipped the World” and “The Link Between the Races,” Mezzrow sold fat joints called mezzrolls. Soon a new piece of Harlem slang emerged: Something genuine was described as “mezz.”
6. Marijuana interferes with short-term memory so that users forget what they just said or did. Not only that, marijuana interferes with short-term memory so that users forget what they just said or did.
7. Before Congress voted to ban marijuana in 1937, the birdseed industry got the bill amended to exempt marijuana seeds (known as hemp seeds) as long as they were sterilized and could not be used to grow plants. An industry spokesman denied that the seeds made birds high, but an ardent marijuana foe, Dr. Victor Robinson, had previously written that the seeds had caused birds to “dream of a happy birdland where there are no gilded cages, and where the men are gunless and the women hatless.”
8. Billy Carter, the late brother of former President Jimmy Carter, believed the illegality of marijuana was part of its attraction. “Marijuana is like Coors beer,” he said. “If you could buy the damn stuff at a Georgia filling station, you’d decide you wouldn’t want it.”
9. One of the least typical supporters of the decriminalization of marijuana was conservative icon William F. Buckley, who died in February. Buckley once sailed his yacht into international waters so that he could smoke pot without breaking U.S. laws.
10. Bill Clinton said famously that he smoked marijuana but “didn’t inhale.” President Bush has never admitted taking the drug, but his drug use was strongly suggested in recorded conversations between him and a friend — the interestingly named Doug Wead. Only one of the three 2008 contenders is an admitted ex-doper.
Barack Obama has said, “When I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point.”
Sunday, May 2, 2010
10 Signs You're an Online Creepster
10. You religiously friend request hot girls who you don't know, and follow up the friend request with extensive messages, winks, pokes, and suggestive photo comments.
9. You "like" every post someone makes. And comment on every status update/tweet/etc. It doesn't matter if she's posting about having the hiccups, a creepster always leaves a comment.
8. You ask for naked pictures from your new "friends."
7. You only decide to go out to a particular bar or club AFTER reading the status updates and tweets of your online lady friends. 'Cause it's not creepy to "randomly" bump into someone, right?
6. You're friend list is made up entirely of females twenty years younger than you.
5. There are only two pictures of you anywhere on the internet, and they are both depressingly low quality to mask how you really look. n
4. You simultaneously friend request someone on multiple networking sites, so that they get a friend invite on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter at the same time. Totally not creepy...
3. You go after roommates. Whole sorority houses will receive your friend request at the same time. You're only hope is to flood women with friend requests, hoping that one of them will be too drunk at the time to deny your creepy photograph.
2. You re-add someone repeatedly. And message them when they deny you.
1. You leave the comment "So when are we gonna hang out???" on every hot girl's page, just hoping one of them will give you an excuse to get out of your Mom's basement.
Top 10 Places To Have Sex Before You Die
1. In front of a video Camera.
2. On the London Eye.
3. In your partners parent's room.
4. In the car during heavy traffic.
5. On an aeroplane, while flying
6. On a public trainn.
7. On your office desk
8. In the Ocean
9. In the woods at night.
10. On a trampoline.
2. On the London Eye.
3. In your partners parent's room.
4. In the car during heavy traffic.
5. On an aeroplane, while flying
6. On a public trainn.
7. On your office desk
8. In the Ocean
9. In the woods at night.
10. On a trampoline.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Ten possible pranks to play on a friend (No survey, no effort!)
Swap the number of their partner and their mum in the phonebook of their mobile, embarrasing and potential devastating, but well worth it!
Order a taxi from every single local taxi company to their house, all with their name... I advise using a new sim card! Depending on how serious you are, prostitutes can be used too!!
Take their iPhone/iPod Touch and move every single application to another page, takes ages to get sorted!
Lean a bin filled with water against their door so when they open it all chaos breaks out! (Perfect for the summer)
Coat their soap in clear nail varnish so when they rub it doesn't create any suds!
Hide an alarm or two within their bedroom and set them to 3am, set their phone alarm for good measure.
DOUBLE: Swap two of your friends TV remotes (have to be the same!), you will have them under your control for as long as you choose to keep the joke going for.
Find a (reasonably) important document, using the CTRL+F shortcut, replace their name/the name of whatever is important about the document with the word bellend or douche etc.
If they have a bluetooth laptop or you can grab a spare bluetooth dongle, setup a wireless keyboard and have fun using the 'Play music' and 'Shutdown/Restart' functions. Holding down Flag+E is popular too.
Find a nice moist dog poo, place it in a plastic bag, wrap the bag so it is almost bursting, and leave under the handle of their car!
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